This month’s theme, ‘Oops!’, was selected by last month’s winner the mighty talented Wine Kat, Kat Wiggins. Her winning post Possession – A Short Story is a joy to read and I recommend it you. Here’s my not too serious entry for October’s Wine Writing Challenge.
Things to do:
- Write an original blog on the theme of ‘Oops’ with no plagiarism, copying or general stealing someone else’s cleverness. (oops, thanks Helen Fielding and forgive me).
- Tidy my desk of all the Very Important Papers and general rubbish which are currently indistinguishable before I spill my wine over… damn. Where’s that box of Mansize Kleenex?
- Stop messing about on Twitter and Facebook and get down to business #oops there’s another hour gone I’ll never get back.
- Go for a run/cycle/bike ride. Ouch, just pulled a bicep lifting that bottle of Argentinean Malbec. Exercise of any form temporarily suspended.
- Make sure I am prepared for the tasting I’m presenting tomorrow. What was the theme again? What wines was I going to use? Where is it? How many people is it for? Are they doctors/solicitors/accountants for off the cuff professional witticisms? How many glasses and spittoons do I need? Are they washed? Have I done the tasting sheets? Have I got the water/crackers? Where’s my corkscrew? Dropstops? I am SO not prepared.
- Tidy and log contents of the cellar so I can find each and every bottle instantly – e.g. Red/White. Burgundy/Bordeaux. Drink/Keep. That sort of thing. (Tried and spent a pleasurable two hours down there checking, admiring and caressing my lovely bottles but meticulously failed to organise them.)
Things NOT to do.
- Check phone for latest wine tweets……. but that was a REALLY good article from The Drinks Business about a wine bottle carrier which can be re-shaped into a handbag.
- Check blog site stats to see how many hits I’ve had. Oh dear, well, never mind. One is better than none though I suspect that one was me. Better log out.
- Drink more than two glasses of wine a night. I’ll just put the bottle away until tomorrow. Erm, not worth keeping an empty bottle.
- Obsess about studying for MW. Must recognise that not a vibrant 30 year old Oxbridge grad brought up on ’61 and ’82 clarets but menopausal 51 year old with mush for brains who can’t resist 3 for 2 offers.
Friday 4th October
07.00 I wish my good intentions of an early morning run when I go to bed are realised in the morning. My trainers have not seen a pavement for months. Still, at least I am awake nice and early and can get on with writing, tasting, tidying.
09.20 Noooo! So I dozed off, the day is still young. I’ll just get dressed and get on. 300 words before elevenses. Then:
Shop to make delicious repast for husband and children tonight.
Select decent midweek wine for said delicious repast.
Help son with homework
11.30 Still in my dressing gown. Youtube clips from facebook friends very good today and not a single one wine related. Is that good or not?
11.32 Embarrassed myself and delivery boy, dressing-gown gaped open as I relieved him of case of wine for tasting. Both of us appalled – him for catching sight of more than he should, me for catching sight of his face for catching sight of more than he should.
16:00 Must get dressed! And bleach dressing-gown of red wine (note to self, do NOT taste in white kimono). Really should have spat more of those wines. Tasting notes will be rubbish.
17:00 Mistakenly emailed PR/communications/media person for Waitrose about the delights of the Tesco Finest range. Will no doubt be struck off that mailing list for good.
17:30 Best not drive to shops. Can’t write either. BUT I AM DRESSED and 47 words in the bag.
18:00 Walked up to BP garage shop – not much in the way of organic veg, fresh meat or anything vaguely suitable for delicious repast. Fray Bentos it is.
20:56 That wine was very nice so didn’t really matter about what was on the plate.
21:45 Failed to help son with Maths, Geography, Biology, Chemistry, IT (well, dur!), Physics homework. Why can’t they do GCSE’s in wine?
01:04 Fell asleep on the settee from exhausting day. Quick tidy round and discovered the ‘nice’ wine was Chateau Margaux 2000.
Number of times checked for wine tweets 352
Number of times checked blog site stats 54
Number of glasses of wine this week 25
Number of times gone for a run/cycle/bike ride 0
Number of hours spent in cellar admiring not sorting 6
Number of bottles opened which should have been kept for a VERY special occasion 5
Number of bills paid 0
Number of invoices sent 0
Number of times checked MW study programme 15
Number of times wished my name was Jancis, Jilly, Joanna, Jane or even Jamie 652