Those of you who know me, know that I don’t do sport. I don’t watch it, follow it, read about it, engage in it. Yet here I am participating in Sport Relief. On the evening of Friday 21st March I shall be swimming 2.5km at Fox Hollies Leisure Centre.

Now I realise this is not anywhere near on a par with running a marathon or cycling half way round the world or whatever you sporty types do, but there is some degree of effort involved on my part not least because the sum total of my sporting activity over the last 20 odd years has  consisted of fair-weather ambles on skis (if that isn’t a non-sequitur), gentle rambles in Cannon Hill Park and paddling around in the sea/pool every now and then.

My training has included splashing about, with ladies who swim with sunglasses on their heads, in the outdoor pool at The Priory (not that Priory, this one) when the sun is shining, and checking the weather forecasts in bed with a cuppa when it’s not. When doing my lengths, I have had to test my mental agility  by trying to work out if I swim at x speed covering y lengths of a pool of 18m, how long  it will take me to complete the desired 2500m. Those of you who know me well, know that that is way more tricky for me than the actual swimming.

I am sure there are some who will still think that this is less of a challenge and more a soak in a bath, but please consider this. For 70 minutes (for that is the figure I have come up with though I didn’t include the coefficient of other swimmers kicking me in passing, splashing water in my face etc.) I will have no access to facebook, twitter, Words with Friends, WhatsApp, text, kindle, iphone, ipad or………..a bottle of wine. On a Friday evening. So for that reason alone I hope that you sponsor me. That and the fact that it is for charity.

What’s in it for me? Well, those of you who have seen me recently, know that middle-age has spread itself evenly and cruelly over my entire body and this needs addressing. I don’t think for one minute that I’ll wake up on 22nd March having lost the excess stone but this may, possibly, conceivably, with any luck and a dollop of will-power set me on a new path of healthy living. Mmmmm, well, whatever……..

Please sponsor me; anything at all, big or small, all contributions gratefully received. You can do so here and, rest assured, when you go on my Giving Page there is NO photo of me in cozzie and goggles. That, surely, deserves a quid or two.